Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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