he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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