There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
