before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
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I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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