he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
