so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
