Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
