I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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