Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
