I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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