I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My penis needs a shock collar
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Never joke about your clitoris.
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