apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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