It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
