Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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