why didn't you poke me back
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
its liver damage thursday
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