apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize