No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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