i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
