I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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