Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
