Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
