It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
