Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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