I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
