I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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