Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
