I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize