I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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