why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
