thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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