i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
