I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
