The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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