He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
