Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
