We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize