i think my tv is drunk
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
