I want to have your abortion
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
