Just fell off a train. Bad.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
