Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
