"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
