Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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