You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
