Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
