The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
