And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
