Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize