I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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