woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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