god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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