Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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