He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize