the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
