ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
