he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
