You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
